To My Son In Surgery, On Prayer During Difficult Times

Months have passed as I rewrote and reorganized my 5-part article series on prayer. As I approached publishing the first part of the series, life dealt me a harsh blow. My 5-year-old son’s appendix burst, and his abdominal tissue became inflamed.

Life’s Harsh Blow

I’ll never forget the morning my neighbor loudly knocked on my door, instructing me to unmute my phone so my wife could call me from the hospital. As a light sleeper, I had made a habit of muting my phone to ensure quality sleep at home, as my job as a pilot often deprives me of it.

With 5 missed calls from my wife, I knew there was trouble. I picked up the phone, but the news shock left me speechless. My wife usually relied on my quick responses and usually correct decisions, but this time I was lost for words. I called a cab and rushed to the hospital.

The hours that ensued felt like days. The insurance claims, the wait for the approval, the reservation of the operation room… A blur of events centered around my son’s agony as he cried, the only words he knew that could describe his pain. “Daddy… ouwy… ow… it hurts….”

Praying With Mixed Emotions

My heart pounded as I sat in the hospital waiting room, my eyes fixed on the screen informing us of the surgery’s progress. My five-year-old son had just been wheeled in for emergency surgery to treat his appendicitis and peritonitis. I was overcome with a mix of emotions. Fear, doubt, and worry all battled for dominance in my mind, threatening to overwhelm me.

I may have looked in shock, staring at the distance, my mind racing in regret. But in fact, I was in deep prayer. I remembered the section in my first article where I discussed impromptu prayers. I remembered exactly what I wrote in my second article on the ingredients of effective prayers, such as asking for forgiveness, faith, and relentlessness.

As a Christian writer who had started a series of articles on prayer, I felt a strange sense of irony. I never imagined that writing a series on prayer would be put to the test so soon. Here I was, amid a crisis, waiting for the surgery to begin, my emotions all over the place.

I felt overwhelmed with worry and doubt, questioning why this was happening to my son suddenly and whether my prayer would do anything if this were all God’s plan for me. I had no choice but to accept His will. At the same time, I knew that prayer was my only hope. Not only am I writing about prayer, but now I should also put it into practice. As I have not finished my studies on prayer, was I ready to deal with this crisis?

My thoughts were a jumbled mess as I tried to reconcile my faith with the reality of the situation. I started praying fervently, asking God to guide the hands of the surgeons and to heal my son. I prayed for strength and peace for my family during this difficult time. On the one hand, I knew God was in control and had a plan for my son’s life. But on the other hand, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that my prayers wouldn’t make a difference. After all, if God had allowed my son to become so ill in the first place, what was the point of asking Him to intervene now?

I tried to push these doubts aside and focus on the present. I was surrounded by the familiar sounds of a busy hospital – the beeping of machines, the chatter of nurses, and the occasional wail of a distressed patient. But everything seemed distant and muffled, as if I were dreaming. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply to calm my racing thoughts.

Prayer as a Lifeline

Amid my anxiety, memories of what I wrote surfaced. One of the many Bible verses I quoted came from the book of James and reassured me to continue my prayers even after I had already finished praying, “Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray.” And so I did, again, and again… and again. The Bible verses I quoted in my articles became my lifeline as I drowned in the tide of my own tangled ideas, saving me from sinking in the quicksand of my arising doubts and keeping my head clear, allowing me to smile and remain calm as I interacted with everyone.

I prayed yet again for my son’s safety, for the skill of the doctors and nurses, and peace in my heart and my family. Whenever I prayed, I felt a sense of calm wash over me. It wasn’t a sudden, miraculous transformation – the doubts and fears lurked in the background. But I remembered that prayer wasn’t just about getting what I wanted. It was a way to connect with God, to bring my most profound concerns to Him, and to trust that He would be with me no matter what.

The News

My phone rang; the doctor wanted to see me. I proceeded with my wife to the operating room. “The surgery was successful,” the doctor said. The doctors removed Skyler’s appendix and cleaned up the infection in his abdomen. She proceeded by explaining the complications that arose and how it was going to be alright. We were allowed to see our son. We rushed, one by one, to his bedside, eager to see him and check on his condition. My wife went first and didn’t stay for long. I read the expressions on her face, the fear and worry she masks by escaping the sight. He looked so small and vulnerable, lying on the bed with tubes and wires hooked up to his little body.

I couldn’t help but feel a sense of guilt and sadness as I looked at him. If only we had recognized his symptoms earlier, we could have avoided all of this.

But what was the use of dwelling on the past? Who could have foreseen the rapid sequence of events that led to this? Even though we took him to the ER the previous day, the doctor misdiagnosed his symptoms as those of a typical virus among kids his age!

Here’s a photo of Skyler enjoying the pool with his grandfather one day before the incident:

As I sat by his side, watching him sleep, I couldn’t help but reflect on the doubts and fears that had consumed me while constantly praying. I prayed with confidence, I prayed with faith, and I prayed without ceasing. I wanted to move the mountain. However, I remembered that the power of prayer is about more than just getting what I want. It’s about finding peace and strength in the midst of uncertainty and fear. It’s about knowing that even when things don’t go as planned, God is still with us and will never leave or forsake us. It’s about accepting anything that will happen and having the strength and courage to bounce back and move on through the developed scars and the blood shed along the way.

As I watched my son while he was awake, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of awe at his resilience. Despite everything he had been through, he was still joyful and curious about the world around him. His spirit was unbreakable, and it reminded me of the power of the human spirit to overcome even the toughest challenges.

Moving On

The experience inspired me to write the article you are currently reading. I wanted to honestly share my struggles and doubts with you and encourage you to seek God’s presence in your life. Life will not always go as planned; I know it rarely does for me. Yet, even in the darkest of moments, there is always hope and the possibility of a brighter future. If not today, then tomorrow. And for that, I will always be thankful.

This experience made me adamant about finishing what I set out to write from the start. Over the coming weeks and months, I will continue writing my article series on prayer, from the simple steps that will improve one’s communication with God through Jesus Christ to dealing with the problem of unanswered prayers and the Problem of Evil, as I dilute all that I am reading and researching into my articles. I wish I had done it earlier (at least for my sake). Still, now I know that I will not stop researching and writing, as nothing in my life seemed as important as the glimpse of Divinity that lit the way through life’s hardships, struggles, and uncertainties.